Word to define my personality based on my posts is..

I was reading several posts in my blog and thought that I was in unstable mood several years ago..


Ahahaha *shy shy shy*


I’m back!


Ahahaha.. Resurrect my mood to write again tooks longer than expected.. Too busy I guess *read: LAZY* 😂😂😂

A lot of things happened during these 4 years.. Should captured the memories, which are amazing, before the age take it away..

See u soon! I promise.. 😊😊😊



Heyy, heyy, heyy..

What’s up there? It’s been a long time without no scream..

As time goes by.. Second, minute, week, month and year changing. A lot of things happened recently. I’ve got married last year *Wowww.. It’s so wowww. Unpredictable! Especially for me. It’s something that quite strange in my head.  But, let us talk about it sharply in another post. Hehe.. *, I’ve been moved to Jakarta *Goodbye small town! The town of  cashew, honey and beaches!*, I’ve moved to another section in my office and who knows that there are a lot of differences, and bla.. bla… Everything happened so fast,  need a while to mapped it.

Oh my.. What a life!



Nguuoooonngggggg *sounds of aircraft passed above my head


Sebenarnya tak niat begadang. But hey, i can’t sleep. Have u ever feel, when u have something sucks, stuck in ur head, and suddenly kompak-kompaknya semua masalah yg tak berkaitan ngantri buat ngisi porsi di kepala. Addduuuuhhh.. Hobi amat sih nyusahin saya.. Ini setan nomor berapa yah yang punya kerjaan, setan yang spesialis numpuk-numpuk masalah.

Ahh.. I’m totally feeling down, sad, depressed, dan kali ini betul-betul terjebak sendiri.

So lonely, and desperate.. Help me ya Allah.. *teardrops.. ;((


As time goes by..

People come and people go. Some of them stay the same, another change. Yesterday’s memories are fresh, but I’m facing different fact today. Uncertainty, is the only one definite thing.

Could I ?

Out of Plan

Dan siapa bilang saya siap melakukan ini?
Mungkin memang hanya uji nyali, atau sekedar iseng.
Berusaha belajar, namun terseok.
Sekarang semuanya tampak semakin buram.
Entah apa yang akan terjadi selangkah ke depan,
Serasa berjalan tanpa arah, menunggu kejutan berikutnya.
Semakin tidak pasti.
Entah dimana, dimana titik itu dalam peta kehidupan ini.

Semakin lelah.. lelah.. lelah..
Ketidakteraturan ini sungguh menguras energi..

Apa kabar blogku?

Wahh.. ternyata hampir 3 bulan gak pernah posting tulisan di sini.

Apa kabar bagian dunia ini?

Maafkan saya yang terlalu sok sibuk dan sok tidak bisa meluangkan waktu bahkan untuk hanya sekedar menjenguk..





Cheers.. _Y_

Planning without Priority = NonSense


I have a plan to study abroad, I have a plan to do traveling more, I have a plan to memorize more du’a and surah from Al-Qur’an, I have a plan to increase my TOEFL score, I have a plan to learn Dutch and Germany, I have a plan to be a professional English Teacher, I have a plan to be an expert chef, I have a plan to … *ahhh, to much Daydreamer..

Let’s have a look up for the simple and more logical cases.

Case 1. I’ve collected a lot of books [a lot of means really A LOT]. I’ve bought it periodically, at least 2 of a month. But ask me, have I finished to read them all? Yes of course, but I’ve just finished to read the synopsis.. *pathetic!

Case2. One of my student will continue his study to the higher level, and English test is one of the requirement. He asked me to guide him in overcome and review the exam. So, I took the material, promise to review it, and give some assistance to help him. Now, ask me. How much progress that I’ve done? Hmm.. I’ve read the test, answered some numbers *base on my feeling* without serving grammatical explanation, and don’t forget.. the deadline remains.. *gasp..

Case3. There is a plumbing leak in my kitchen sink. It makes seepage at my wall if I opened the tap. It has being happened for almost 2 months! Actually, I just need to call the plumber which is supposed to be served by the developer to fix it. But since I found that my developer  just always promising without any real action, I’ve become tired to ask them. So, how ’bout that seepage? Has it been fixed? Of course hasn’t yet. I’d prefer never use that kitchen sink than fix it.. *horrible!

Case 4. I have a plan to do exercise regularly, try to live in a more healthy life. Bought some guideline such as videos and books *I did it last year, for sure* So, how’s my progress? Heheheh.. I’ve just done the first exercise yesterday and maybe my body is shocked. It made a total destruction. I just feel stiff in my whole body.. *still thinking about continue the exercise or just give up..

Case 5. Considering that I’m a working girl with a full of activities in weekdays, but in the other side intent to serve my own meals in my mission to live healthy, I plan to do shopping for my daily needs just once a week at the weekend. I fulfill my fridge with some ingredients, and ready to cook. But, does it work? Hmm.. so far, I always have to throw away some ingredients because of spoiled. I felt so sorry about it, very sad. I don’t know why, maybe my dining portion is too small, I lose my appetite easily, or I’m not expert in doing shopping.. *I guess I’m failed to be a woman.. T_T

And a lot of other cases that I’ve ruined recently. I lost my focus, I lost my managing skill, I lost my dynamic rhythm. I’ve become a procrastinator without any real priority, getting lazier and lazier. Gee, I hate this! I don’t want to fall any deeper. What’s wrong with this all? WHAT”S WRONG WITH ME?

Figuring out, I’ve been being carried away by a slow motion of life in my daily activity. Working as routine, no dynamic target, no dynamic priority. Oh My God, it’s dangerous, for sure! It absorbs my spirit, absorbs my personality. I didn’t get use to do management things anymore, I didn’t get use to make any real plan anymore. Too much compliance, bias of action.

“However though yourself are, environment will impact you by inch. And it will be getting worst if you are alone in your vision. It’s not about inconsistency, but that’s a nature law”

Mayday! I have to solve this. I don’t want to change to another personality, I don’t want to lose myself. What I have now is just my though and hope. Hope my conscience will lead me out of this situation, BAD SITUATION. It looks so calm on the surface, act like nothing happen. But I do realize, sooner or later I am going to sink.

“Get out of the trap. If the environment give you a favor, get involve there. But if it’s not, no need to feel sorry to leave it. It’s not runaway, and it doesn’t mean that you are a looser. But it’s about knowing your inner potential, exactly.”

I’ve passed 2 years, 2 years and 21 days. Too much time for being wasted. It’s time to re-arrange my priority, re-manage my life. I do believe, I do sure that I could maintain all of my life planning, all of my life dreams, all of my life target if I can fix my priority. Don’t want to waste any second more to make a plan, without any clear objection. Uyach, come back now.. YOU HAVE TO!



To Be Honest, They Never Meant To Ruined This Peace..


“I come to this magnificent house of worship tonight because my conscience leaves me no other choice… A true revolution of values will lay hand on the world order and say of war, ‘This way of settling differences is not just.’ This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation’s homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into the veins of peoples normally humane, of sending men home from dark and bloody battlefields physically handicapped and psychologically deranged, cannot be reconciled with wisdom, justice, and love…”


_Martin Luther King Jr., quoted from Linkin Park – Wisdom, Justice and Love_

Morning Taujih


Wasiat Rasulullah  Muhammad SAW kepada Sayyidina Ali RA

Wahai Ali, bagi orang ‘ALIM itu ada 3 tanda-tandanya:
1) Jujur dalam berkata-kata.
2) Menjauhi segala yg haram.
3) Merendahkan hati.

Wahai Ali, bagi orang yang JUJUR itu ada 3 tanda-tandanya:
1) Merahasiakan ibadahnya.
2) Merahasiakan sedekahnya.
3) Merahasiakan ujian yg menimpanya.

Wahai Ali, bagi orang yang TAKWA itu ada 3 tanda-tandanya:
1) Takut berlaku dusta dan keji.
2) Menjauhi kejahatan.
3) Memohon yang halal kerana takut jatuh dalam keharaman.

Wahai Ali, bagi AHLI IBADAH itu ada 3 tanda-tandanya:
1) Mengawasi dirinya.
2) Menghisab dirinya.
3) Memperbanyak ibadah kepada Allah SWT.



#Astagfirullah Al Adzim.. Masih jauh Yaa Rabb, sangat jauh.. 😦