I have a plan to study abroad, I have a plan to do traveling more, I have a plan to memorize more du’a and surah from Al-Qur’an, I have a plan to increase my TOEFL score, I have a plan to learn Dutch and Germany, I have a plan to be a professional English Teacher, I have a plan to be an expert chef, I have a plan to … *ahhh, to much Daydreamer..
Let’s have a look up for the simple and more logical cases.
Case 1. I’ve collected a lot of books [a lot of means really A LOT]. I’ve bought it periodically, at least 2 of a month. But ask me, have I finished to read them all? Yes of course, but I’ve just finished to read the synopsis.. *pathetic!
Case2. One of my student will continue his study to the higher level, and English test is one of the requirement. He asked me to guide him in overcome and review the exam. So, I took the material, promise to review it, and give some assistance to help him. Now, ask me. How much progress that I’ve done? Hmm.. I’ve read the test, answered some numbers *base on my feeling* without serving grammatical explanation, and don’t forget.. the deadline remains.. *gasp..
Case3. There is a plumbing leak in my kitchen sink. It makes seepage at my wall if I opened the tap. It has being happened for almost 2 months! Actually, I just need to call the plumber which is supposed to be served by the developer to fix it. But since I found that my developer just always promising without any real action, I’ve become tired to ask them. So, how ’bout that seepage? Has it been fixed? Of course hasn’t yet. I’d prefer never use that kitchen sink than fix it.. *horrible!
Case 4. I have a plan to do exercise regularly, try to live in a more healthy life. Bought some guideline such as videos and books *I did it last year, for sure* So, how’s my progress? Heheheh.. I’ve just done the first exercise yesterday and maybe my body is shocked. It made a total destruction. I just feel stiff in my whole body.. *still thinking about continue the exercise or just give up..
Case 5. Considering that I’m a working girl with a full of activities in weekdays, but in the other side intent to serve my own meals in my mission to live healthy, I plan to do shopping for my daily needs just once a week at the weekend. I fulfill my fridge with some ingredients, and ready to cook. But, does it work? Hmm.. so far, I always have to throw away some ingredients because of spoiled. I felt so sorry about it, very sad. I don’t know why, maybe my dining portion is too small, I lose my appetite easily, or I’m not expert in doing shopping.. *I guess I’m failed to be a woman.. T_T
And a lot of other cases that I’ve ruined recently. I lost my focus, I lost my managing skill, I lost my dynamic rhythm. I’ve become a procrastinator without any real priority, getting lazier and lazier. Gee, I hate this! I don’t want to fall any deeper. What’s wrong with this all? WHAT”S WRONG WITH ME?
Figuring out, I’ve been being carried away by a slow motion of life in my daily activity. Working as routine, no dynamic target, no dynamic priority. Oh My God, it’s dangerous, for sure! It absorbs my spirit, absorbs my personality. I didn’t get use to do management things anymore, I didn’t get use to make any real plan anymore. Too much compliance, bias of action.
“However though yourself are, environment will impact you by inch. And it will be getting worst if you are alone in your vision. It’s not about inconsistency, but that’s a nature law”
Mayday! I have to solve this. I don’t want to change to another personality, I don’t want to lose myself. What I have now is just my though and hope. Hope my conscience will lead me out of this situation, BAD SITUATION. It looks so calm on the surface, act like nothing happen. But I do realize, sooner or later I am going to sink.
“Get out of the trap. If the environment give you a favor, get involve there. But if it’s not, no need to feel sorry to leave it. It’s not runaway, and it doesn’t mean that you are a looser. But it’s about knowing your inner potential, exactly.”
I’ve passed 2 years, 2 years and 21 days. Too much time for being wasted. It’s time to re-arrange my priority, re-manage my life. I do believe, I do sure that I could maintain all of my life planning, all of my life dreams, all of my life target if I can fix my priority. Don’t want to waste any second more to make a plan, without any clear objection. Uyach, come back now.. YOU HAVE TO!